rattling off

TIME FOR A RANT, MOTHERFUCKERS.

IF YOU'RE NOT COOL WITH THAT, CHOKE ON IT.

I am sick and fucking tired of being a hard working musician, putting in EVERYTHING for my town and promoters and then playing to FUCKING NO ONE. 

Aside from that, when we do play to a crowd, motherfuckers just STAND there. Are you on some fucked up downer that turns you into Der Golem, bitch? Because if so, take your pasty little ass home and listen to some Beach House because I don't need you at my fucking show anyways. I'll take playing to no one over playing to some flaccid, droopy eyed raccoon looking motherfucker in a cardigan. 

I swear to God that some of these kids have no idea what real music is. Rock n' Roll was not created so we can just stand around and look at it. When a real jiving rock n' roll band plays, you should be damn near fucking each other on the floor. Dance, stomp, shake those fucking Fair Trade Toms, you anemic pecker.

Call me a narcissistic, but I feel that my band is a real rock n' roll band. We play our asses off and live by the Bo Diddley beat. We don't clean it up and it's all about the rhythm. We want people to have a good time, that's why we do it. It brings joy to us, of course; I play with my wife, who is my best friend and I am so crazy in love with her while we're playing. I'd be a liar to say that we don't do it for ourselves, but I'd also be a fucking liar to say that we don't do it to bring joy to others. I get such a feeling out of hearing the simple, primitive tribalism of a rattling low E string and a floor tom that I just NEED to bring it to other people. 

I rolled on the fucking floor and blew out my knee tonight for 5 (maybe) people. All of which either worked at the venue or were in a fellow band. Why did I do that? Because I couldn't help it. As bummed out as I was to see no one (essentially) in the venue and to hear that "you're on", the sound of the music we were playing forced me to move and gyrate and act like a goddamn demon because IT'S SUPPOSED TO. If it didn't I'd go to a doctor or something because my psyche would be fucked.

Yes this is a bit whiny (probably more than a bit, but fuck you) but shit, give me a break. I've been doing this shit since I was 14 (I'm 23 now) and sometimes I just ask myself "why?". Why do I keep doing this shit? What's the point?

The only real conclusion I can come to is this:

That's my boy. Honest to God pride and joy. Sometimes my only friend in the world, and my point is this: 

I'm not raising a quitter.

 I'm not going to bring a kid into this world thinking that you give up on what you love because other people don't like it. I don't mean to say that I'm aiming to succeed at being a millionaire musician or playing stadiums (I'd probably hate it even if it happened,) but rather I mean that writing, recording, and performing music is my craft. Some people are carpenters, some people are welders, and some people bang on guitars and make $10 a night. 

And then some people get a check from their parents every month and spend it at Urban Outfitters, but that's exactly what I want to raise my son not to be and if I ultimately let those SAME EXACT kids beat me down, how am I accomplishing that? 

We're a band and family of fighters and won't quit. 

Also, how fucking cool will it be at career day?